blur...

So, this last week is kind of a blur... there seems to have been so much going on, but when I stop to think about what things I have actually done, I feel that I come up empty handed at times.

Halloween came and left and now that Step 2 CS is out of the way I am free to focus on other important things... which is part of the issue; there is always something else. When one goal is completed or one objective task has been seen through to the end, there is another tast or object that is in the works, in the midst of action or needing to be started. Currently there is some research that I am working on and other stuff that I even need to start, no to mention write a speech for tomorrow night [oh WTF am I going to talk about?]. Work gets in the mix, which is fun, but is really going to throw my sleep schedule off until Saturday.

Although I have nto mentioned this yet to her, I am curious what April is doing this weekend and if she and Rory have any plans as I was thinking about coming to visit them. I feel the need, many times, to just get away... however I know that wish or desire will be coming true rather soon with interview season right around the corner as things are starting to line [or should i say pile] up.

At times this makes me feel lost, like there is this spiriling vortex that is med school graduation and I feel ill-prepared for the uncontrolled and convoluted journey, to a destination that is set... and yet what is beyond that drain, that void, that hole that sucks me in, is an unforseen abyss... a void of which my mind's eye has not yet seen the light of. I do not know how close I must come to that vorage before it becomes remotely clear so as to show even a blur or blip of a glimpse of what next year and my future holds.

And yet, I suppose that I am not alone... I am sure that there are many others similar going through that same feeling... not everyone in med school, but some. Some seem to have things better hashed out than others, have more of a definitive idea as to what they want to do and where they want to do it. At times I am envious of that... and yet at other times, I am glad that I do not feeled shackled down to a certain area, be if field or location.

In rambling on about such thoughts and events, I have come to realize that yet again , I procrastinate... what better to do tomorrow that which you could have done today! Not the way to live, but a way nonetheless.

Alas, I am off, the find a picture... a picture locked behind a door of time, the key to which can only be found in a chest of hearts that can be bought at a most inconspicuous little shop on the side of the road; the road which leads to, the twighlight zone...